25 September 2023


It's Monday, the most hated day among the others. Monday isn't fair and absolute cheater. It's way too far from Friday yet Friday is very close to Monday. How is it possible? Well, it was a good day after all except that there was no sunset. The cloud is hiding it from me. I spent the evening going for a run from 6pm to 7pm and I am trying to make it a routine which I already started the previous week. 

I decided to pick up this new habit when a massive sense of guilt for eating more than I should have been haunting me. I started doing the calorie-deficit diet last December and stopped the routine in May and it has been on hiatus for almost 4 months. Damn, I have lost almost 10kg during that time and gain another 5kg now. It's very frustrating how my effort has gone to waste due to my own silly mistake. How could I say no to food when everything seems to comfort me more than anything? :')

Glad the realization kicked in fast before it's too late. I never want to go back to my previous weight so whatever it is, I really need to push myself again this time. Cutting off the endless snacks, the sugary drinks, and portioning my meals correctly. I did this before and I will do it again.

The thing that makes me happy and proud of myself today is I managed to do the circle run twice without stopping. Been pushing myself all the way till I reach the finish line. For someone quite heavy like me, running is damn exhausting and such a pain in the ass hence that little achievement is enough to make me feel content and over the moon. Yeay!


Of yellow flowers, purple flowers, pink flowers, and the waxing gibbous moon. Monday is a happy day. Till here then!

24 September 2023

que sera, sera

It's almost the end of the year and I am feeling frustrated with myself more than ever. This blog is still empty. The domain was supposed to be out in June since I am planning to completely resign from this blogging world but apparently, the domain has been renewed automatically for two freaking years by the domain hosting company that I subscribed to. I don't want to continue it actually but I guess this blog still wants me to be part of it so yeah, I will try to start writing again and turn this blog alive and not dead.

Life has been pretty good despite a few times I feel like drowning. The act of appreciating and embracing the little things around me has changed me a lot. It calms the endless chaos in my entire body and keeps my sanity intact. I love staring at the blue skies more than ever now. At the same time, I will play a little search-a-rainbow game and it levels up my dopamine whenever I spot one. It makes me realize that we actually don't need much to make our happy hormones go crazy, instead, we need to be grateful and cherish whatever is in front of us. It is the greatest source of happiness and a peaceful mind. Seek no more.

I'm turning 30 real soon which is unbelievable how fast time flies. I am wondering what the future holds for me; will it be good or will it be another bad series? I know I'm not supposed to worry about it for everything has been written for us but life kinda scares me. It's full of surprises. You don't know if you will laugh your head off or cry your heart out. But yeah, que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be.

I will try my best to make another update soon. I have *ahem* a good feeling about it this time. Till here then, bye! 

28 April 2023

Photo by Brigitte Tohm on Unsplash

I was on a four hours train journey from Yogyakarta to Surabaya when I got myself into a retrospective mode. The entire ride was a soothing one -- full of the green rice paddy field view with warm weather, not that scorching hot but cozy enough to look outside without getting my eyes hurt by the sun. I took the opportunity to let my thoughts wander around and find any topic I could write about as my caption on Instagram. Yes, it's my kinda trick to keep writing. It's not something I do as a forceful habit, but I feel like I need to do it.

So I was thinking about happiness. I used to question myself, is happiness too much to ask for? Is it damn expensive that no matter what I do I will never be able to get it? Or is it entitled to some specific people only? Gosh, only god knows how much I've cried for that damn question. I have no idea why I often feel like I don't deserve any of it, even a glimpse of it and sometimes I feel like maybe my life has been cursed. But actually, it's not. It's simply my thoughts and the way I define happiness itself. 

But hey hey the wiser me is here. I believe that happiness is flexible and can vary from person to person and even within a person's own life. What brings happiness to one person may not bring happiness to another, and what brings happiness to someone at one point in their life may not necessarily bring happiness to them at a later point. Thus why I realize that we cannot follow anyone's standard of happiness. We have to create our own based on how we feel about things and our surroundings.

Happiness is also influenced by external factors such as life circumstances, environment, and social support. For example, a person who is going through a difficult time may find it challenging to experience happiness, while someone who has a strong support system may find it easier to cultivate happiness even during challenging times. Life events, personal growth, and shifting priorities can all impact a person's happiness.

So the answer to my forever question is no, happiness is not too much to ask for. It is a fundamental human desire to want to feel happy and fulfilled in life. But we all need to learn that even little things can give us a bunch of joy. We hold the power to decide and choose what will make us happy. It may cost nothing at all or maybe an entire star in the galaxy. Learn to be grateful as well since gratitude and happiness are closely linked to each other. Once we feel enough, surely the content heart will follow. 

27 April 2023

kuala kubu bharu selangor

I don't know what has gotten into me but I've been craving for some adrenaline-rush activities lately. Mungkin pembawaan umur dah nak masuk 30 kot hahaha. I didn't get a chance to do much of outdoor activities during my twenties so I guess it's not too late to start the adventure is it? It's only the beginning.

As soon we were back from Indonesia, my father decides to stay for three days in Kuala Lumpur before heading back to Sarawak. I was thinking about what kind of thing I could do in KL other than window shopping? Cause duh, it's obviously boring since I'm not a shopping person. Unless ada benda dicarik then I will go for mall-hopping. My heart is telling me to try tandem paragliding since I saw a lot of videos about that thing on TikTok. I did some research about how far is the place from KL, how much would it cost, and what things I need in order to be there and challenge myself.

So I asked my siblings, do they wanna join me for some adventure? Luckily they said yes. Mun sik  hurm berhuhu jaklah aku. If dekat I will definitely go alone but since it's too far I'm a bit scared to do it solo. Takut sesat ke tempat lain lol. I am afraid of heights and I am always scared to try new things. But this time, I'm proud of myself sebab berjaya overcoming my fears. *patting myself* Tandem paragliding is one of the most adventurous things I have ever done and I manage to secure it before I'm turning 30 hihi. Bucketlist checked!

The Booking Process

Before heading to KKB (Kuala Kubu Bharu), I already booked a slot for 5 pax at 1030am with pihak KKB Paragliding. The number is provided on their page and its easy to deal with them. Great service, no hassle at all. 

The Waiting Game

We arrived early at Taman Millenium and we have to wait a bit lama lah. Once all the certified pilot has come, everything is prepared, make bermulalah perjalanan ke atas bukit. Me and my cousin were so excited that we decide to jump over the truck and duduk di belakang, ignoring the scorching hot sun. Damn panas lit lit tapi demi secebis pengalaman, redah aje. Once in a lifetime kan. Rentung pun rentung lah. Sampai je dekat atas memang sah lah macam sakai. Photoshoot sana photoshoot sini sambil tunggu turn sebab ada another adrenaline junkie yang slot awal. I was damn excited and nervous at the same time. 

tandem paragliding

Flying In The Sky

My certified pilot is abang napi. I'm glad that I don't feel awkward with him walaupun hakikatnya pemalu nauzubillah. But I made it for real! It's a chilling activity actually. Kena lari sikit je sebelum terbang but the running process was quite funny. Nasib bait crocs amek sik tercabut hahah. Gliding over the beautiful view under the bright blue sky, it's priceless. Never did I feel regret daring myself to do this thing. Awalnya tenang ribut jiwa rupanya ada yang simpan dendam. I made a mistake asking abang napi to do the spin. He asked me, nak ke? And I freaking said yes! Sebab macam sik best lah kan rilek chilling macam ya ajak. So I dare myself for the spin. And that was a huge mistake!

No wonder lah the spin ni di buat time dah nak landing. I was screaming like there's no tomorrow when my certified pilot did the spin like he wanted to throw me off the ground from that ketinggian entah berapa meter entah. Of course it was fun but i terus pening and rasa mok muntah. Like seriously i feel like vomiting. I diam sekejap sebab if i talked, confirm uwekkk. And guess what he said after that? Hah ambik nak sangat spin kan. Rasalahhh. Fine can't blame him pun cause I request it myself. Padan muka.

tandem paragliding spin

My Verdict

I truly enjoyed the activity. It's worth the money, time and nyawa lol. Cause you never know when bad things can happen is it. But there's nothing to worry about since everything will be handled by the pilot themselves. We just need to follow the guide as per told, run don't jump, and just sit back and enjoy the view. Yang nak acah acah healing tu this activity tersangatlah sesuai. Ko buat buat lupa je ada pilot kat belakang haha. Healing lah engko sorang sorang.

Everything went smoothly. Will I repeat this tandem paragliding? Absolute yes cuma aku sikmaok request spin agik. Mok chill ajak. Jerak amek eh berpusing-pusing atas ya. One thing that I dislike is holding the gopro stick. Sumpah penat tangan nak menahan. Tapi demi sebuah memori di langit, maka terpaksalah kuat kan tangan no matter what.

Tandem Paragliding KKB Details

  • 1 - 2 pax (RM280 seorang)
  • 3 - 5 pax (RM260 seorang)
  • 6 pax and above (RM250 seorang)

*Flat rate on weekdays - RM25O

Package included:
  • Full equipment
  • Video during flight (GoPro)
  • Transportation to take off (4x4)
  • Internal protection coverage
  • Flight duration 5 - 10 mins (subject to weather)

More details boleh tengok dekat page mereka okay. Run bestie! Book your slot!

26 April 2023

kampung lajong niah

I gotta say this time I had fun celebrating hari raya. Usually, to be honest, I don't feel anything about it all. I'm just celebrating it simply because everyone is doing so. I have my personal reason which I can't mention here but hey, selamat hari raya, everyone!

I had the chance to spend one whole day going out with Nisa and her entire family on the third hari raya. She's been my best friend since primary school and we are simply a non-biological sister for more than 10 years dah. So following the time yang ditetapkan oleh abah nisa, me and my sister went to their home around 10am, we gathered there and start our journey to Kampung Lajong Niah. Rasanya around sejam lebih juak lah perjalanan. I'm not sure sebab macam biasa as a backseat passenger, kerjanya hanyalah tidur sahaja. Plus i still have my migraine so yeah i'd rather sit quietly.

But we did stop at perumahan area sungai rait first before heading straight to Niah. The weather was dark and gloomy and it rained heavily but we managed to survive going out of the car and running into the home of Nisa pun cousin. Baruk sigek rumah dah lebur gais. Stokin basah (not mine ofc), baju basah, makeup pun menyenyeh (betul sik mek eja tok?). Makan minum makan minum chit chat dan tibalah masa untuk berangkat ke destinasi seterusnya. Guess what? I dapat angpau 2 keping uolls. Alhamdulillah still entitled to get it walaupun hakikatnya dah maok masok 3 series kekeke.

kuala sibuti sarawak

Sampai ke Kampung Lajong Niah, sambung lagik makan minum makan dan minum. We visited two houses dan kemudiannya bergerak ke Kampung Kuala Sibuti. The journey also took around one hour maybe. The place really got a genuine kampung vibe and I gotta say i love it especially bila tengok all the lampu raya yang meriah gilak. It was my first time experiencing beraya di kampung ya so I am amazed by their creativity doing the decorations. Untuk penggemar seafood especially udang galah, this place is for you. It's one of the place yang famous dengan menu udang galah. 

kampung kuala sibuti

The photo above is a piece of evidence that I didn't lie when I say their lampu raya is freaking meriah and mesmerizing. For more evidence boleh tengok sitok HERE. I suka tengok lampu and yes I super love it when it sparkles everywhere. So dekat sitok we went to few houses and seriously my tummy has reached the limit. Mabuk dah rasa minum soda dari kaler oren ke kaler gadong ke kaler kalas haih macam macam kaler lah. But I didn't get bored makan the biskut raya. One thing about hari raya is i love most of the snacks yang dihidang atas meja. Makmur tanpa kacang and popia are my favourites! Yes I am pure Sarawakian tapi says bukan penggemar kek lapis so yeah I don't eat much of it kecuali the one made of horlick. Yums!

Honestly, I had fun with them. Surprisingly few of their cousins know my dad. Jadi siklah rasa terasing gilak beraya dengan family orang lain kan kekeke. I know my gambar is buruk but what can I do, I lupak mok ambik proper photos for blog post. Til here then, selamat hari raya!

24 April 2023

six of crows review

What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?" "Knife to the throat?" asked Inej. "Gun to the back?" said Jesper. "Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina. "You're all horrible," said Matthias.

I really really love this squad. I love them so so much! They are a bunch of miserable people with powerful skills that are super effective in their own way. I know this book supposed to be dangerous but they are super duper coooool! Before I rant about all my favourite things in details, let me tell you about what this book is about. Well, it's obviously about six misfits going on a deadly heist with a promising lavish lifestyle after that. They are Kaz -- the leader, Inej the Wraith, Nina, Matthias, Jesper and Wylan. They are going to break into the most insanely dangerous prison! I never felt so nervous about reading a book before. But this one completely got my sanity lost intact. Leigh Bardugo created such an epic scene and the world set up is fantastic despite the dark and moody vibes. Don't expect a rainbow in this book cause it's full of crap and criminals and treacherous thingy, but still, there's an irresistible romance and precious moments as well.

First of all, I am so amazed about how Leigh build the Ice Court, the safety protocol, the design of the place etc. Like what and how did she get an idea to do the setting? When Kaz and his crew are planning to enter the Ice Court, I keep on wondering will they succeed? Will everyone gonna be safe? Ain't nobody gonna die? So many thoughts for it cause hell, I'm not ready to mourn for any of them. Thus why I cannot wait to turn the pages quickly. I need to know what will happen and silently wishing for their safety. I know it sounds crazy but I did that. When the time has come, when they have reached their destination, I couldn't stay still, as you know, wondering if everything's gonna be okay or vice versa. It's so intense to the point you wanna skip to the last page haha but please don't do it cause you will miss the essence of this book.

What makes this book so interesting is the characters. I'm sorry but favouritism has no place in this book. I love them equally because each one of them is so precious, yeah, despite the fact that they are of rebellious and mischievous. Be it the revengeful Kaz, or the miserable Inej, or Nina the betrayer, I still couldn't choose. But at the beginning, I am so pissed off with Matthias actually. He is such a pain the ass. He annoyingly hates Nina though it's obvious he is so all over her and him never the "adorable" one thus the reason why it hards for me to like him. But surprisingly, there's this one line in the book that automatically makes me like him. It just few minutes before that I was cursing at him lol. As for Jesper and Wylan, the banter between them makes the humorous part of this book. Wylan is such a little munchkin!! I don't know what's going on between them but Jesper always annoyed with Wylan in a cute way. Really cute way!! And honestly, I don't know Jesper is gay until I watch the book review on Youtube. Like did any of that mentioned in the book? Or did I just miss out the character's traits?

Each of the characters has a distinct background. The author has put depths into her people by doing a flashback from the past for them. It's what I appreciate the most. During their journey on the sea, I love how they talk to each other to become closer; between Kaz and Inej, between Nina and Matthias, between Jesper and Wylan. They all take the moment to reveal their deepest secret. And again for the hundred times, I really really really ship their bonding situation. Tell me how can I choose only one of them?! From hatred to accepting each other, just how lovely and precious is that?!

I know my review might be overdramatic but it's what I feel about the book. If you asked me to reread it again, I definitely will with no second thought at all. It gives you numerous feelings; nervous, melancholic, happy, angry and all that. Six of Crows supposed to be an adventurous and brutal read. But to me, the content is so much more than that. About life, love and hate, the choices that we make, the people we choose to be with us and how we're gonna deal with those that await us.

Last but not least, just to let you know, it's okay to read Six of Crows duology if you haven't read the Grishaverse trilogy. This book can stand alone and you won't be confused with the plot. I truly recommend you to read this cause it worth the hype and you will love it. You will love the book, you will love all the characters and the author as well. And I can't wait for the series to start the show on Netflix!

18 April 2023

obelix hills jogjakarta

This year I had the chance to visit Yogyakarta with my family and it was one of the best vacations for me because I did something for myself this time and it kinda amazed me. We had a hectic flight journey from Miri to Kuala Lumpur and continue Kuala Lumpur to Yogyakarta the next day. The flight to Yogyakarta took around 3 hours to arrive so I dozed off during the entire journey. Mengantuk plus my seat was in the middle jadi sik dapat maok ambik gambar awan berjuta igek. Mun sik nang penuh gambar awan jak dalam tepon. Padahal sama jak rupa semua. Pun mejal mok snap banyak kali.

The procedure for entering Indonesia is quite different now. Sebelum tok macam sik perlu jak mok declare family or how many people you are travel with, but now you have to do it once you arrived at the airport. The most important thing, like penting yang amat, you need to declare your mobile phone. Siktauklah declares ka apa but its called imei registration. You surely don't want to let this slip away unless you can afford international roaming. Read more about it here How To Register The Imei Mobile Phone In Indonesia.

Yogyakarta is one of the oldest cities in Indonesia and it seems quite famous among travelers sebab I often see people share their itinerary of this place and it looks amazing. Yogyakarta is basically a small town tapi padat dengan penduduk and it has many heritage buildings and monuments. Healing places pun banyak. Tinggal pilih jak mok ke sine. But most of the attractions are way way far from the city like if you wanna go this one place, it will take like one hour and more to arrive. So yeah, prepare all your things and don't leave anything behind.

Without further ado, I will share the places we visited while in Yogyakarta.

Borobudur Temple

candi borobudur

This temple is located in central java. I think dari tengah kota to this place took like almost 2 hours to arrive. It is one of the greatest Buddhist monuments in the world and since benda tok quite jarang di tengok, so it becomes one of a must-visit place bila datang ke Yogyakarta.


Obelix Hills

obelix hills jogjakarta

I don't know why am I so excited about this place. The moment we arrived here, voila, the place is freaking wonderful. Owner tempat tok memang kreatif giler. Everything yang nampak pada mata kasar semuanya perfect. Tapi belakang tabir says sik pasti lah. Especially bila hujan like how fast can the staff run to save the bean cushion?! Obelix Hills is located at Dusun Klumprit, Wukiharjo, Prambanan, Sleman. Do come here in the evening and you will get such a superb nature view!


Gondola Pantai Timang


I saw people going here in TikTok so I suggest this place to my cousin yang polah our travel itinerary. Walaupun hanya sekadar pantai, but trust me its worth paying a visit to this place. You will be surprised betapa seronoknya perjalanan ke sitok. I love it walaupun sakit badan. This beach is a bit far and I will need another entry for a full story about our journey here.


Heha Ocean View & Heha Sky View

heha sky view jogjakarta

These two places basically have the same concept but it offers a different view and different vibes. As obvious as the name is, you will get the ocean view at HOV and the sky view at the HSV. I would recommend visiting it in the evening and getting the sunset view and extending your stay until night at Heha Sky View cause you will be able to see the night city light from there.


Keraton Ngayogyakarta Hadiningrat

keraton palaca

It's a sultan palace. It's one of the must-visit places when in Yogyakarta. But sadly we were not able to explore more of the palace sebab ada construction sedikit katanya. The staff there took us untuk tengok kereta-kereta diraja zaman dolok marek jak. And yes walaupun setakat ya ajak, but it's quite amazing to see all those thing.

We were there for five days and all that I've listed are the only places we visited. There are still more attractions in Yogyakarta tapi sik sempat mok cover semua. Maybe next time! I will write the long version of each journey in a different entry. Till here then! x

The Garden Of Uncertainty
Photo by Vladimir Vinogradov on Unsplash


So I would like to write about this garden of uncertainty. Actually, I know nothing about it, I have zero ideas about it until I befriend a stranger from Tinder and he shares the quotes below with me. 

“If you can’t do anything about it then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.”

Sadly our perkenalan was a quick one and he left after a few conversations. His quotes basically put me into curiosity mode. I read the quotes many times and wondered am I a prisoner? If I am a prisoner, what kind of crime Ive committed? Fikir punya fikir I finally got the answer. Indeed, I am a prisoner and the crime I've committed is keeping a bunch of false hope and I am unconsciously creating a garden of uncertainty in me. I am making myself a hostage and it steers me into complete chaos.

Do you know why and how it is related? It starts with an authentic hope but ends up being something toxic that infected the mind. Keeping a false hope means keeping something rotten in you. It's the easiest perumpamaan and paling mudah difahami. I tend to do it all the time. Though I know I won't be able to change anything about something, like that thing has zero possibility, I still wanna keep it in me and believe that one day it will eventually change when the fact that it cant. Dasar bengkeng sik bertempat. Sik kira lah tentang apa sekalipun, I always have it bottled up in me and end up hurting myself. Letting go is harder thus why I refused to do that.

The funny thing is, sometimes we exactly know the answer we seek but we are in complete denial, refusing to admit the truth. The more we keep the habit, the bigger the garden grows. So what's the point? I imagine myself strolling around the garden I've created, seeing all the things that hurt me everywhere like wilted roses, do you think it makes me happy? Of course not. That's why I chose to burn the entire ground and plant something better. I want something more pleasant, lively, and full of butterflies. It will be the core of my entire system as a human being and I really need a change. If I don't, it's not only the inner me but the whole me that will be wrecked.

The garden of uncertainty is something we all cannot have in life. Learn to let go of something we can't change and believe that there's more for us out there that we still haven't discovered yet. Don't waste time on something worthless. x

life update
Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash

Lamak gila dah sik bukak blog tok. Kamek rasa mun blog tok sebuah rumah, confirm dah jadi salah satu property yang berhantu. Life has been good lately (ada juak yang not good but i choose to be blind and deaf about it hehe). Banyak yang mok diceritakan thus why im back here. Harap idea penulisan ya sentiasa ada jak lah. Lelah juak mun mala kenak writer's block. Padahal bukan cerita rekaan tapi susahnya mok polah ayat rasa macam jawab kertas spm jak heheh.

I'm going to update about my travel journey to Jogjakarta and Surabaya, my personal growth progress, books I've finished reading, my thoughts about uncertainty and other things which i ada update the quick version on instagram, about what's going on with my life (i ada kenak scam abam pulis uolls) and everything that I could remember. Banyak juak yang mok di share dalam blog yet i don't know why i couldn't make it until here. 

I am writing this while listening to lofi playlist and its already midnight. A new day has started. Raya is just around the corner. And its already mid-april. Phew lajunya masa. I gotta fill my days with more good things, more positive things, and just everything good. Though I know its impossible to be happy and feel good all the time, but its not a crime to try my best kan. Sikkan lah mok sedih ajak. Boringnya hidup. Sik dapat polah real outdoor activities, sik apa. Kita camping online, berbasikal online, mandik sungai online and so on hahah. This year I really wanna spend more time with nature and do more outdoor activities. Tapi sik ada geng. I need a new circle but how? Ada ka yang maok kawan dengan amateur macam saya tok? What a sad question!

It's okay. I will try to figure it out myself later. Jangan jak mood introvert datang balit. Bukan main jak semangat kelak dah diajak benar alu rasa menyesal. Biasaaaa diaaa. Tapi hakikatnya seketul introvert memang macam ya. But I'm trying to change myself at least lah to ambivert. Middle range homosapiens. Till here then. x

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